Married to or living with an alcoholic? How to deal with these common relationship issues

When living with an alcoholic spouse, seeking appropriate treatment options is essential for both the well-being of the non-alcoholic spouse and the overall health of the relationship. Two potential treatment avenues to consider are individual therapy for the non-alcoholic spouse and couples therapy and family counseling. Approximately 2.7 million married couples in the United States are impacted by alcoholism due to an alcoholic partner. Having an alcoholic spouse can lead to a number of negative consequences, such as mental health issues, job loss, domestic violence, and financial struggles. Living with an alcoholic spouse can be an incredibly challenging and emotional journey.

effects of living with an alcoholic husband

Living with an alcoholic spouse presents emotional, financial, and relational challenges that can sometimes leaving an alcoholic feel insurmountable. However, by understanding the nature of alcohol addiction, practicing self-care, and encouraging professional help, it’s possible for both you and your spouse to move toward a healthier future. The road to recovery involves open communication, boundary-setting, and a willingness to seek external resources—be they support groups, therapy, or medical interventions. We publish material that is researched, cited, edited and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

You’re worried about the future of your marriage

• You’re increasingly feeling on your own as your spouse appears to look for opportunities to drink on their own.
• If you are looking for a community of others who have experienced the trauma of loving someone with alcoholism, Al-Anon is a productive place to start.
• The intimacy skills seems to fuel their desire to hurt emotionally rather than help.
• It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery.
• Laura Doyle-I wish your name didn’t pop up whenever I search for sound sane advice.

I suspect there’ve also been times when you’ve felt embarrassed and ashamed. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), more than a third of U.S. adults who were dependent on alcohol are now in full recovery. Further, that may eventually be the case, even if it isn’t right now. And this downplaying, rugsweeping and evading just shows just how much of an addict your husband is. But for those who choose to stay, perhaps unsure of his diagnosis since that’s on his side of the street or for whatever reason, I want to empower them to have the intimacy they too deserve.

How to deal with an alcoholic partner

Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish but essential for your own well-being. By setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care, you can navigate the challenges of living with an alcoholic spouse while safeguarding your own emotional and mental health. My husband sat and drank all day; I worked full time, kept the house, did the yard work, handled finances, cleaned and ran errands, and took care of a man who cared nothing about me or his family. There wasn’t any physical abuse, but the emotional abuse was awful. I lost myself, my friends and my emotional stability all while enabling a man who didn’t care about anyone but himself.

You may have already tried caring, loving, shouting or crying more, or telling them how you feel over and over again. The Doctor Weighs In is a trusted source for quality evidence-based stories about health, healthcare, and innovation. Laura Doyle-I wish your name didn’t pop up whenever I search for sound sane advice. When we arrived at the excursion, they told us we could upgrade to unlimited drinks for the day for an extra $10. When I showed up at the bar to pick up my husband at the prearranged time, he loudly told me to sit down.

As you watch someone you love go through the physical, mental, and emotional toll of becoming sober, your approach to the process can be pivotal to their recovery success. Most often partners of alcoholics are unaware of how to manage their spouse or their relationship with them. It leads to emotional and physical abuse coupled with financial difficulties, broken relationships and other addictive disorders. There are many ways to minimise the effects while trying to help the alcoholic to get over their addiction. It is important for the non-alcoholic spouse to understand the impact of alcoholism on their own well-being and learn effective coping strategies to navigate these difficult circumstances.

As the spouse of a high-functioning alcoholic, life can be stressful for you, too. Emotionally, your household may tend to be in chaos most days. You may be dealing with your husband’s mood swings, or lies, or excuses—every day can be a series of ups and downs, and you never know what to expect. That means you are always on your guard, and that can be exhausting. If you have children, you may be worried about their welfare and safety if, say, your husband has been drinking before driving them to their soccer games.

Encouraging Your Spouse to Seek Treatment

• In the case of the high-functioning alcoholic, it is not always easy to recognize if your husband’s drinking meets the criteria for an alcohol problem.
• For example, mention a time they missed an important family event or got into legal trouble due to drinking.
• For someone to contribute to their partner’s success, however, they need to understand what to expect on the road to recovery.
• When we arrived at the excursion, they told us we could upgrade to unlimited drinks for the day for an extra $10.
• When the addict is your husband, it can be hard to know what to do, but multiple options are available.

When living with an alcoholic spouse, it’s important to recognize that their behavior and actions are influenced by their addiction, rather than a personal failing or lack of willpower. In conclusion, living with an alcoholic spouse is a complex and emotionally charged experience. It’s essential to prioritize your own well-being, Alcoholics Anonymous seek support, and encourage your spouse to seek treatment.

The bottom line when it comes to coping with an alcoholic spouse

• Relapse prevention strategies are crucial, as many people experience setbacks.
• That sense of loneliness can be compounded if your high-functioning alcoholic husband withdraws emotionally or is overbearing and controlling—unable to communicate with your partner, you may start to feel hopeless.
• Spouses have to struggle with the severe psychological impact that comes from the effects of living with an alcoholic spouse.
• This will help make a stronger case that a spouse’s behaviors and actions are not healthy.
• If you are not careful, their alcoholism can take over your life.
• And when he gets drunk Will make a fight with his drinking acquintance.

Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Whether you are struggling with addiction, mental health or both, our expert team is here to guide you every step of the way. Don’t wait— reach out today to take the first step toward taking control of your life. Over time, these emotional strains can escalate into more serious mental health issues if you do not receive proper support. Also be aware of old habits surfacing, including visiting friends who also deal with substance abuse issues, or unexplained deviations from responsible behavior.